Love is not
For cowards, selfish, outrageous and mean-spirited people
I intentionally wrote this article with neither coherent sequence nor as a literary structure of a piece of writing to share my scattered shattered thoughts and insights to a subject as eternal and as vast as the Lord.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said that: “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (change of life)” (Luk 5:32). I hope that this article serves as a tutorial for coward, selfish, outrageous, mean-spirited, incensed and dark-hearted people, who claim to know and live in love, while they may know, as bedfellows, of casual love and lust, they did and will never experience a close, intimate and committed friendship and relationship. To those who know and live love, I take my hat in respect and deference. But to the others, I dare say heartburns have nothing to do with heart as much as there is neither egg in eggplant nor apple or pine in pineapples, as connotations lead to disappointments representing challenges where the myth will collapse and bitterness, deception and mistrust will sit in.
Though love is an element of devotion, attraction and reciprocity radiated through a liaison of two hearts, it remains always on a localized scale the incentive for the rock-solid edification of the feelings of the lovers. Though it is an aggressive impulse, it is not, by all means, an abstract, obscure and singular sentiment, but a gushing spring of emotions, interactions and the abundance of giving, ostensibly seen and felt and experienced through intimacy, connection, longing, touch and finally the meeting of two minds, bodies and souls of persons in love.
What is rewarding, love lives up to its role and shows a real vote of confidence. As it was the case, the lovers feel the impact of the changes in their lives, the dazzle of joy, hilarity, shivers, tremors and tickling of passion. With love, one feels alive, animated, artistic, excited, expressive, talkative, romantic, creative, bioenergetic, and even devilish with more mobility and resiliency.
New ideas and techniques jam the brain, control the heart, and capture the senses, generating sweet-bitter deft mixture. Nothing is more galvanizing and intoxicating like a new love … where the derivative and the integral meet … the intellectual heritage and assent congregate … altering our notions of space and time … adding texture, beauty and wonders to our life … transforming and transcending life … ushering mystery, thrill and curiosity … combining inspiration and perspiration … where all our antennas become so sensitive and alert we can hear the beloved heartbeats …
As humans, after all, we can only approach love’s altar with the best our humanity can master and impart, with which we become born again instinctively fluent with the language of love and we partake in utterly different realities. On one hand, God gave us the gift of speech, with which we can refine verbal expressions, invent and coin basic yet sophisticated and targeted flurry of dialect and words … but, with love, these take second seat to body and eyes language and nonverbal not language associated telepathic chatters, touches, gestures and signs; and on the other hand, both reinforce the fusion of the spiritual, intellectual, emotional, sentimental, even social, economical and political propensities in the furnace of love …
Great writers and geniuses of this world have sought, wanted, expounded, demanded answers to the feud between Body and Brain … Heart and Guts … Palette and Senses … Mindset and Outlook … as each category is no more than two warlords with their disarming attitudes and beliefs, trying to force the other to surrender, abdicate or vanish … while lovers expect transparency and seek truth to establish trust in order to lovingly resolve conflict … these warlords are 24/7/365 up in arms playing hide and seek.
When we all experience genuine love, it causes our lives to have a purpose, design and meaning; the great writers reflected that canon of beauty, sovereignty and majesty of love; so they filled their poetry, prose, depictions, paintings, sculptures, and our life with its abundance and nuances. Gustav Mahler once said: “A symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything”, which befittingly applies also to love; because with love, we adopt a roadmap to happiness and togetherness by writing our autobiographies.
Nietzsche has said that: “The most fundamental form of human stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place”. Thus when one falls in love, he should take a close yet a distant look at oneself, including attitudes, aptitudes, priorities, perspectives and the extent of the willingness to reciprocate, and to study the fundamental elements of telepathy, as when one has not said a word, it is heard and felt out loud.
Some say marriage kills love while others say friendship can lead to love but not vice-versa. I only can say that ignorance is not the opposite of knowledge but the absence of that knowledge, as well as hatred is not the opposite of love but indifference, as there is no absolute universal ignorance, knowledge, hatred and love; we are privied and limited to some notion and experience on either side of the aisle. Friendship is that driving force for a continuous, devoted and committed love before and after, and within and without marriage. The assimilated equation of love and friendship is what makes “soul mates” and not the license of or marriage itself. Marriage is the “house” that is subject to natural disasters while love and friendship is the unshakable “home” that shelters and shields the two “soul mates” all their lives. If we dare to carry our friendship over into marriage, we sustain the continuity of love.
Love in itself is an art, a page-turner and an opportunity for “U-turns”; every “love story” is as unique as the individual fingers, lips and iris’ prints. Love is not “Buy and Sell” or “scratch my back I’ll scratch your back” or I told you “I love you” once and that’s enough, but love is like a friend that you long always to meet, to intimate and to reciprocate love telling him how much his presence, friendship and closeness are dear to your heart, mind and might, and how much you count the seconds before the minutes to see him and be with him. Then, it is only a selling transaction where you have to repeat daily with some nuances if we to achieve success and continuity.
True lovers wear their love on their sleeves … their lives on their hands … their beloved on their arms … to radiate through their eyes … and to flash it through their little or big bundles and flurry of joy … when arguments arise because of clash of personalities as well as awkwardness and caprices … it will be filtered through love and respect … devoid of threats and bullying … as if walking in minefield … or performer of very difficult choreographed movements and tunes … dealt with without shedding blood … raising a hand … making a roar … or firing a gun… at close range or from far.
Love is these ticklish breezes that nurture and these itchy sun rays that torture us with bubbly sweet vibes … feeling their waves crashing and breaking against the shores of our hearts … With excitement and devotion to love, we bare and uncover it all … we mean what we say and pledge … and say and pledge what we mean … If we dare to do so, we can relax and dwell in love’s richness, power, pureness, and trueness in emotional fulfillment.
No one can be punished for an unknown crime, unless in the darkest vaults of our hearts we committed that heinous crime of indifference, of self-love and self-gratification, and called it love.
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