As principal wishers, we hereby, bestow upon you and yours, the entitlements and the rights to have and to hold the same together with all the singular the benevolent wishes thereunto belonging or in anywise appertaining to acquiring, subscribing and owning all the great joys of Chanukah, Christmas, Michaelmas, Kwanza, Bairam and Ramadan.
Known to all men by these presents, that you, our dearest buddies (hereinafter referred to as the wishee), irrelevant of your ethnicity, origin, faith, outward appearance, guise, pretense, character and/or resemblance, and being of any age, for and in consideration of one hug, worth its weight in gold, dollars or any other denomination or currency, receipt of which is hereby acknowledged by cease and desist ordinance coupled with the total termination and cessation of all hard times, anxiety, illness, loneliness, calamities, encroachment, seizure, disfranchisement, violation, tort and exaction, be it legal, financial, emotional, physical or social, arising from any and all or by reason of self-inflicted wounds, cause and causes of action, inaction and reaction, misfortune, toil, covenants, controversies, nuptial and pre-nuptial agreements, well-intended or unformatted promises, whether justifiable or not, including but not limited to those claims in law or in equity, and declared them herein as void, canceled and paid in full, without any and all future recourse or reference.
And the grantor (hereinafter referred to as the “wishers”), jointly and severally, hereby covenant, with full legal authority and personal responsibility, under penalty of perjury, that their greetings and heartfelt holidays’ wishes are lawfully acquired, nurtured and developed and that they have exclusive uncontested right and authority to grant, release, convey and confirm unto our dearest wishees, all that certain sentiment, love and emotion situated in our hearts, together with all the tenements of health, the hereditaments of wealth and the accompaniment of solace thereto and anything notwithstanding, we shall defend same against any and all persons’ lawful claims.
This commitment is perpetual and shall commence immediately upon receipt and acceptance, and deemed renewable to the wishees’ hearts’ content by subsequent endorsements, riders and addenda, subject to the most adequate, appropriate and apportioned conditions and stipulations.
By the present, the wishees are hereby encouraged to duplicate, exchange, pledge, hypothecate and dispose of all sort and description of the same wishes and greetings in respect thereto all rights, powers and privileges of ownership, including all real and personal feelings and sentiments.
In witness whereof, the grantors have caused these presents to be executed in its name, and a kiss for its corporate seal has been hereunto affixed, acknowledging that, being of sound mind and spirit, they have executed this affidavit of love, thoughtfulness and good wishes for these holidays and many more to come this 31st day of December of any year.
XOXOXOXOXO
Ghassan and Family
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